This day’s topic will get a little personal. I did warn myself, back on Day 41, that I had to return to the topic of Pride. For most of my deliberate days, I do get personal, don’t get me wrong. I truly am exposing the real me to the world through this anonymous blog, more than I ever would in a more personal setting. I, like most of us, see myself the way I want to see me. Sure I see most of my faults, that I’m not and I recognize the fact I am probably a 4 on the attractiveness scale (how would I rate a younger Mr. Deliberate? Definitely a 10. Ok, an 8). But we usually don’t see ourselves as others see us, and although their view of us may not be 100% correct, I can always gain some truths about myself from listening to others. But do I ask for those truths? Heck no! Who would want that?
Therefore I thank the good Lord every day that I had a manager that was observant and astute enough to pull me aside when I was 22, when I had been in my work career a grand total of 14 months. It turns out I was completely blind to how my co-workers were seeing me, and although I never saw myself as one of the most popular and likeable guys, I thought I was polite and likeable and got along with everyone. But then my manager, Christopher Smith, pulled me aside. Now, he was not much older than me, maybe late 20’s or really early 30s. But he had either seen something, or heard something, that brought him to action and to bring me to a small conference room.
He said, “Mr. Deliberate, people are concerned about your attitude. I know you just got your masters degree, and you’re pretty clever, but your attitude is rubbing people the wrong way.” Now, I had no idea my attitude was rubbing people the wrong way. Like I said, I thought I got along with everyone and wasn’t an annoying person. He continued, “Let me give you some advice. Your attitude will determine your altitude.” He said a few other things, but he kept it short – he knew how much to say and what not to say. He was encouraging. He didn’t say my situation was hopeless, that no one would ever like me again, that I was always going to be rubbing people the wrong way. He actually motivated me to change my attitude – more importantly, to really see how my attitude was coming across to people.
It was definitely Pride that got me into that situation. It was true, I thought of myself as pretty hot stuff. Sadly, that situation was not the only time in my life that my Pride took me down. I have one failed long-term relationship under my belt because of Pride. I’ve also failed in my work life because of Pride, where I thought I was too smart to fail. I could really depress myself if I reviewed all of the times that Pride took me down. But all of this isn’t the main point of today, it is just the setup.
Today, I want to deliberately examine all of my relationships for where my Pride has leaked in. I’m going to write out all of those instances where I do show pride.
Then, I want to deliberately examine my work life for where my Pride has leaked in. I will write out all of those instances.
Lastly, I want to deliberately examine my home life for where my Pride has leaked in. I will write out all of those instances.
Then, on an upcoming future post, I’m going to do something about removing the Pride from my life. And then following that up, I want to determine the best way to deliberately keep Pride out of my life.